Every man knows.
What he is capable of, what he is worth, what he would end up as, when he would die....
Some could be ignorant about it, other entirely ambiguous, but most are clear. As clear as the sky after rains, as clear as the ocean without a breeze, as clear as the forest after men are through...
I am one of those.
My body is no temple, it is no pious sanctuary. A God resides in it, yet my vessel is a crumbling submarine.
The curve of my life, has been worse than an ECG chart, up down down down down flutter up down down.....
I have always believed life is entirely a learning curve, a course to experience, to try, to acquire as much as you can in your puny brain. And not just knowledge, not just ideas, but memories, thoughts, impressions.
I have felt more than my share I fear, experienced hell and heaven, tasted more sorrow and joy than most others combined, all this and still in my mid 20s.
Now, I realize that I have sped up my life chart. The experiences are not only milestones but accelerators. The more you go through, the faster you want to go, the quicker you're through.
Would I be disappointed? Should I be? Have I been the greedy kid who slurps up his ice cream at one go and then eyes the others around him hungrily...? Have I robbed myself of the most luxurious of amenities available to humanity, the luxury of time?
My narcissism, my arrogance, denies. Nothing can reduce my stature. Nothing can diminish my existence. Or is it the other way around? Is it my arrogance and narcissism that has forced me to take this path of thought, a hypothetical presumption to answer future failures?
I cannot answer.
I will not answer.
But I will tell you this...
If I live, I will rule
If I don't, I will die.
